So, let’s talk about Body Image, something that it stuffed down our throats every single day with social media, magazines and surprisingly porn. Yes, I said that PORN.
As women we become hung up on how we look- our hair, weight, clothes, makeup, teeth, bum, boobs, thighs ect ect. But why do we destroy ourselves? Well we do this because its easier to put yourself down before anybody does it for you.
We all strive for perfection (well the perfection is in the eye of the beholder) but what is perfection?
Hair is something I’ve changed like the weather trying to create a different me with every look, but why? Was it for me? Was it for other people? I’ve been blonde, brown, post-box red, purple, black and probably every colour of the bloody rainbow, but why? It took me a long time to accept that I’m ginger and I suit ginger. You go through phases as a ginger girl for example- primary school- no body cares, junior school- the comments of “ginger ninja, copper knob, carrot top” come out and the bullying begins, high school- a bit of bullying but then the “ooooooo she’s different I would like to get to know her” and finally work-it’s a mixture of bullying and attraction (I’m kinda used to it now). The one line that pisses me off most in this world is “I’m a sucker for a red-head” are you now? And why is that “because your fiery”- turns out most guys can’t handle my flame.
My weight has fluctuated over the last 15 years or so, when I was 15-16, I became super critical of the way that I looked. Food became the enemy and I basically survived on Lucozade (I know not healthy) it took me a lot to deal with this at the time. I would eat in front of people then find an excuse to go to the toilet afterwards. My parents tried everything to find something I would eat, my Mum found that I would eat Garlic mushroom Pizza (something I cannot eat now) so being the amazing women she was brought them in bulk to ensure I consumed something. It took a while before my diet seemed to be more varied and I regained control again but I can honestly say I still wasn’t happy with the way that I looked even then.
Let’s fast-forward to around 21-22 I was the biggest I ever was wearing a size 16 (in some places a size 18). I absolutely hated the way I looked, everything I tried on made me look like a beached whale and when someone you like says to you “I’ve never been with a big girl before” it kind of destroys a little piece of you. I would eat takeaways 3-4 times a week, very rarely eat anything that wasn’t beige and Christ I think I had forgotten what vegetables looked like. Was I happy NO but did I do anything about it, again NO. I began getting headaches daily and therefore taking pills to stop them. It became a constant circle of headache, food and pills that never seemed to let up, so I decided to see my GP. You can imagine my shock when she said to me “you need to lose weight first”, how was my weight anything to do with my head? So, a health trainer from the NHS was my next step, surprisingly it did really help I lost some weight and started to feel a lot better but I didn’t need a diet I needed a lifestyle change (which when you’re with someone who doesn’t eat vegetables is pretty hard to do). There is only so much a change of diet can achieve and I found that the hardest thing to deal with, whilst I was happy I had lost around 3 stone I couldn’t lose anymore but just eating better I had to start exercising…….NOOOOOOOOO (these were my thoughts at the time if any of you know me you will know this is not the case now”.
